Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Can I color on your dick again?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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