I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
