I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
