I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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