The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
