upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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