Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
