If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
