God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do vagina's smell?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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