I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize