Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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