She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
