Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
