sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
