god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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