Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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