talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
