Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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