I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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