so that wasnt chicken after all
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
