Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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