Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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