im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
