can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
