dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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