just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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