I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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