she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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