if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
