Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize