I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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