just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
