you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
