Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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