I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
