i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
