I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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