Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
