he thought i was a dude.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
