I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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