Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
