I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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