So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
