Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
