im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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