This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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