I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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