I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize