I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All I want is dick and wine.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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