AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have already put on my inside pants.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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