My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
