She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
