You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
They are going to name an STD after you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
