Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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