im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
