Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
