My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
