I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
