Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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